How to Experience Authentic Community, Part 1

Did you ever wonder why so many Christians get spiritually stuck? The Bible’s very, very clear. It says, “If any man, if any woman is in Christ, the old things pass away; behold, all things become new.” And yet, you meet people–sincere, good, I don’t mean slackers–I mean people that really love God. They’ve seen transformation in some very significant areas, and they’re even in the Bible on a regular basis, and they really want to grow, and yet they hit a ceiling and then they just feel stuck.

But as you see on your notes, part of the answer is that the greatest seed in the greatest soil cannot grow in the wrong environment.

Notice in your notes, a little biblical background here, the command of Jesus requires a very specific ecosystem or environment. The very last night on the earth, He’d washed their feet, and then He turned to them and He looked them eye to eye, and He said, “I want you” – this is the new commandment – “to love each other in the same way I’ve loved you.” Sacrificially, authentically, lay down your life for one another. But it requires an environment.

Here’s what I want you to get: The specific environment or ecosystem in which the seed of God’s Word in your heart that’s honest and good and wants to grow is authentic community. It’s authentic community. Notice the form that it takes is a small group. The group could be three people, four people, ten people, but that’s just the form, that’s the container.

Never, ever confuse just being in a small group with authentic community. I’ve been in small groups that there’s no authentic community, haven’t you?

Authentic community is deeper. Authentic community is this environment where people lay down their lives for one another. Authentic community is where you take a group of people and they say, “You know what? We’re going to change the world,” and they were around Jesus. Authentic community is living under persecution and hearing God’s Word and going from house to house to support one another to live it out.

In fact, it raises two very important questions. Question number one is: What is authentic community? And then question number two is: How do you get it? And the answer to both those questions is in Romans chapter 12, verses 9 to 13. If you’re just new with us, we are going through the chapter in Romans 12.

And in verse 1, we learn that what God really wants from all of us is – what? He wants us surrendered to Him, all we are, all that we have. In verse 2, we said there’s an enemy of our soul. There’s a world system that’s trying to woo and seduce our heart away from our Savior.

And we’re “not to be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of our mind,” to be separate from the world’s values.

We looked at verses 3 through 8, and we learned that we’re not to think too high or too low, but to have a sober self-assessment, to know where we fit in the body. And now what he’s going to talk about is serving in love. He’s going to talk about: what kind of relationships are we to have as fellow believers?

And if you look at your notes there, in verse 9, you’re going to see that authentic community is the “real you” showing up. Verse 10 is going to say that the “real you” needs to meet real needs. And then in verse 11, he’s going to say the “real you” needs to meet real needs but for the right reason. And in verses 12 and 13, the “real you” needs to meet real needs for the right reason and do it in the right way.

For some of you, you love God, you have a good heart, you’re taking in God’s Word, but you’re stuck. There’s a ceiling. You have these outbursts of anger and you feel terrible about it. You have issues in your life that you know you don’t want and you’ve told God “I’m sorry” and you want to change and you’ve tried hard to change, but you still don’t see any radical transformation.

I’m telling you, this moment on this day may be God’s answer to the environment in which some of those things you’ve struggled with so long He can change. But it doesn’t happen alone. So let’s look together, what is authentic community, and maybe more importantly, how do you get it?

First, from verse 9, authentic community is the “real you,” not a projection of yourself.

See, you can’t have authentic community unless the “real you” shows up. Authentic community, he says, “Let love be sincere. Hate what is evil. Cling to what is good.” The two characteristics of the “real you” showing up is, one, authenticity, and two, it’s purity. Where the Word says, “Let love be sincere,” circle the word “sincere” and write above it “hypocrisy.”

Paul is borrowing from the Greek of his day, and in the Greek theater of that day, they were all male actors. And so if you were a good thespian, you could be able to throw your voice and you could play a male part, a female part, an old person, a young person. And they dressed up in different costumes, and then there would be a mask that you would wear. So you would throw your voice.

And Paul takes that word for the mask, and that’s this word. He says, “Let love be without a mask, without hypocrisy.” Let the “real you” show up. Yes, you got to be discerning and you got to be careful of who you share the “real you” with, but he’s saying that authentic community isn’t just getting in a small group. It’s when the “real you” is showing up and you let people see who you are, progressively, wisely, discerningly.

In fact, jot in your notes, if you would, “Acts chapter 5.” This is important. This is beyond important. Some people never experience this their entire Christian life, and they can never figure out why they don’t experience the transformation power that God has promised us in Scripture.

And so in chapter 4, it gives an example of this very wealthy man who had a piece of property in Cyprus on this island, which is the equivalent of downtown San Francisco or Manhattan, in that day. And so he sells it and he takes the money, and he says, “Look,”– I don’t know this for sure – “but I got a second home. You know, there’s a piece of property. You take this to meet the needs of the people in the church. They’re really hurting.”

And I think a buzz happened in the church where, wow, it was so sacrificial, it was so generous. And people were like, “Boy, I guess this is what it means to love one another.” And his name was Barnabas. And I think Barnabas got this reputation because they started calling him the “son of encouragement.”

And the story goes on in Acts chapter 5. And jot that down because before your head hits the pillow, you ought to read it. It’s not very long. It’s very interesting. So there’s this young couple. I’m guessing they’re young. Maybe they’re not young. But Ananias and Sapphira. And so they kind of look around and they think, “Wow, everyone’s talking about Barnabas. We wish people would talk about us like that. We sure wish people would think we’re that generous and loving and kind.”

And so they hatched this plan. And the plan is, “Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to sell this piece of property, and we’ll get the money, and we’ll tell people that we sold it for this much money and, we gave it all away, but we’ll really keep back the money for us, so we’ll kind of have our cake and eat it, too. We’ll appear generous and loving and sacrificial, but we’ll still have the major part of the money.”

And so, he comes and talks to Peter, and God reveals to Peter what’s going on. And Peter says, “Ananias, why have you lied to the Holy Spirit? Before it was sold, it was yours. After it was sold, it was yours. You aren’t compelled to give a little or a lot.” The issue is integrity. And then right there, bam, he dies. I mean, literally drops dead. And the young men come and pick him up. For what? His hypocrisy. The very first sin in the Church is hypocrisy, and the judgment is death.

His wife comes a few hours later. And I’m thinking Peter’s going, “I sure hope she’s not in on this.” And so he says, “Sapphira, it’s good to see you. How are things going?” “Oh, pretty good.” “How are the kids?” I’m adding just a little.

And he says to her, “So did you sell this piece of land for such and such a price?” “Oh, yes. You know, Ananias, when you’re married to such a generous, loving, kind, amazing husband like I have, and we sacrificially have given it all away…” I’m again reading between the lines.

And Peter looks at her and, I think, just with sadness in his heart, and he said, “The young men’s feet who took away your husband shall take you away as well.” Bam, she dies on the spot. And it says a great fear came among the church. Yeah, are you kidding?

Now, you’ve got to understand...can you imagine if you’ve never read the Bible before and this is your first time through the New Testament and you’re a brand new Christian, you’re thinking, so this is what happens to hypocrites? I’m in trouble. I mean, literally it was like, whoa. In fact, if God was acting in this way, I think He was going to make a point. See, if hypocrisy gets in the mix, it’s like leaven and bread. It spreads. And when people aren’t authentic, the message of Jesus would have been wiped out within a few years.

And so God wanted to demonstrate how important this was. I often thought later when I was a pastor, if God did that for twenty-four hours in the church all across America, all of us would have to turn in our pastors’ badges and become morticians. Probably a lot of us pastors would need other pastors who are doing better than us to bury us.

But do you get it? Do you really get that church, quote, was never, ever intended to be a group of people that come to an event and feel like in some way they’re doing something morally positive because they come to an event, and listen to someone talk about God, and even sing a few worship songs to Him, and then file out, and live life their own way, and not be absolutely connected to one another, and have a safe environment where the “real you” shows up? And you know why the “real you” doesn’t show up? The same reason the “real you” doesn’t show up in me. He says, “Let love be without hypocrisy,” and then it says, “Cling to what is good, hate what is evil.” Literally the word is “abhor what is evil.”

Most of us are spending this...I wonder if this is wrong, how close can I get to sin without falling in?

So people in counseling will ask me questions like, “Well, is this rating, this rating, or this rating in this movie, do you think it’s okay if I can do this?” Or, “You know, we’re dating right now and we’re doing this, this, this, and this. Is that really sexual sin or can we...?” Or “We have so much money and I want to know is it the gross or is it the net or is... Could I take a percentage...?” It’s kind of like, “How…?” Instead of, what’s it say? “Cling to what is good.”

The issue isn’t: how close can I get to sin “without sinning”? It’s: how close can I get to God? How pure can I live? Because when you’re pure, not perfect, pure, the “real you” can show up because you can be honest.

And, one of the most powerful and significant experiences you will ever have in your life is being in a small group of people that’s really safe, that really love you and you really love them, and the “real you” shows up, the “real you” that’s making great progress, the “real you” with the frustrations and hurts and struggles, the “real you” with the real problems. And as you bring your struggles, you’re not judged. You’re loved. And the “real you” that needs help gets support and the “real you” that needs accountability, and as we all do, an occasional rebuke. And, you know, “What were you thinking? You kind of violated our trust by that.”

See, that’s a fundamental part of authentic community, and a lot of people never have that. And so enormous amounts of energy…what we end up doing, instead of allowing God to transform us, the energy is, we have to do sin management. And so we’re spending all this energy trying to either hide or deal with our guilt or deal with our shame or drown it out with food or work or money or shopping or speed.

And so when the “real you” shows up, that’s the beginning of authentic community, but it’s beyond that. It meets real needs, not superficial or convenient ones. Authentic community doesn’t happen when you do a little nice thing or a little nice thing here and it doesn’t really cost you very much. Authentic community happens when the “real you” shows up. Notice it says devotion – “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love” – humility –“giving preference to one another in honor.”

Real needs getting met always involves devotion on our part and humility. The word “devotion” here is strong. He’s saying you need to be committed to one another and lay your lives down for one another like you would for blood relatives. For people that you feel this moral responsibility for. And it says, “Be devoted to one another”– how? In brotherly love. Philadelphia, that’s the word. We named a city in Pennsylvania by that. It’s this commitment of family love, of being there for one another, of doing whatever it takes.

I thought I knew what it meant to kind of be devoted, and love. I was a new Christian, and after probably, I guess it was about five or six years, I’d been coaching for a couple of years after school, and Theresa and I were married and we had two small kids at this time. And so, I was shocked, literally shocked that God called me into vocational ministry. I thought, I just can’t imagine ever Him being able to use someone like me. I’m a teacher. I’m a basketball coach. I can’t imagine being a pastor. But He made it clear, so we went to school, and after about a year there, built some relationships.

We stayed in a little apartment complex. Actually, it was a huge apartment complex, but it had like these, apartment here, apartment here, apartment here, apartment here. They were little quad things. And so you really got to know the people. You shared one hallway. And I came home after school. It was in my first or second year, and Theresa’s eyes were all red. I said, “Honey, what is going on? You okay?” She goes, “Oh, I spent all afternoon with Pat, you know, right across the hall.” I said, “Well, what’s going on?” She goes, “Well, her husband left her.” I said, “Oh, you got to be kidding.” And they’d gotten really close. They had a little boy the same age as my little boys. They were all about five years old. And she goes, “It’s worse than that. The bank accounts are emptied.” He left her, they have a two or three-week-old newborn, and she has no money. And we just prayed and cried. I thought, “Wow.”

So I’m thinking, my heart’s really going out to her, so I’m thinking it’s really spiritual, so, “Honey, you want to pray for her?” She goes, “Well, actually, we did that.” But I’d been thinking about it and we talked over dinner and she goes, “I think we should…in two days, her rent is due and they’re going to kick her out if she doesn’t have rent money, and I think we should pay for her rent.”

And my portfolio at this point is very easy to keep. I can keep it in my head. We don’t have a savings account because there was no need. We had a checking account. And I made under a thousand dollars a month on straight commission as I went to school full-time.

So I said, “Honey, if we paid for Pat’s rent, our rent is due in ten days, and the moment we pay for her rent, we will have ten dollars in our checking account.” She said, “I know.” Oh. When you marry above yourself, it’s really not very good at times, you know? And so it was like, you know what? Okay. But you know what it was? It was being devoted isn’t like, “Oh, I hope it goes well for her. I heard she had cancer. You know, that family’s going through a rough time.” No, no, it’s like we’re in this together. She’s family.

And so I’m figuring I’m probably going to have to learn how to be a pastor someday, might as well start now. And so, Okay, Lord, here it is. And we write the check. And by the way, it was not noble. I think people get this idea that when we take big steps for God...“Yes, God.” Most of my really big steps are like, “Yes, God.” You know? I don’t really want to do this. I’m pretty... but, okay, I’m going to claim Your promise: “But my God will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” You said you’d do that and the context is giving, being generous, Philippians 4:19, I’m standing on that passage.

Our rent’s due. No money. We have a three-day grace period. First day, grace period, no money. Second day, grace period, no money. Third day, Hey, yo! Which part of this verse am I misinterpreting or, you know, what’s the deal?

And that day in the mail, that day, an envelope came, a business-size envelope, and in the left-hand corner it had a football helmet that was green and yellow, and it was from Lombardi Avenue. I got a letter from someone from the Green Bay Packers. It was like, what is this?

So I open the letter, and the letter says, “Hi, Chip, I’m sure you don’t me. I met you about six years ago or so. I was a senior in high school at the time and you taught a Bible study in San Jose. And I later went on and played college football and I was the first quarterback taken in the draft. And I’m playing for the Green Bay Packers now. And when you taught that Bible study, all I can tell you, I can’t really remember even what you said, but something happened that changed the spiritual trajectory of my life. And I’ve never forgotten it. And I’ve not thought of you for six years, but this is weird, out of the blue you came to my mind, and I’m supposed to send you this thousand dollars.” I mean, it was just like, oh.

You know what happened? I got to experience authentic community. This is how God works. This is normal. He puts people in your life that you have some more time than they have, you have money that they don’t have, you have energy that they don’t have, you have spiritual gifts that would help them that they don’t have, and you don’t nod and think, Well, I went to church, I read the Bible, I went on a missions trip. You think, I’m a part of this community.

And that need is a red light going off on my soul to love them. And I will tell you what, we got tight with Pat. It was like twenty years later got a postcard. “Theresa, I saw somewhere you and Chip and da-da-da. I just want…” And a picture of her and her grown son and the little one. And our hearts were connected to Pat. Why? Because wherever your treasure is, your heart follows it.

And then I got to see that God also... that was the first of many lessons. That was a… whoooooo. And after that, in the last thirty years, we’ve done that scores of times, scores of times, never knowing for sure how God will supply. My testimony: He always does. And what we’ve experienced is God.

See, at the end of the day, you know what most Christians don’t know? God is real. He’s not a philosophy, He’s not a formula, He’s not a moral code. Jesus is a person and He’s real and He loves you and He made promises and He wants you to stand on them.

And you take risks, which are called faith, and you love one another and people get loved through you, and then He supplies. When the “real you” meets real needs through devotion and also through humility, because at the end of the day, you know what? You have to think more of other people than yourself.